Hypnagogia . . .




November 7, 2009 . . .
I skipped work because I was feeling lazy. What I did was I met up with Dada and we spent quality time together the whole day.

I never thought it would also bear one of the most terrifying moments in my life.

Earlier that day, I asked Dada to switch off the lights so we can fall asleep easily. We took a nap in the afternoon and I had a very weird dream … In my dream, I invited Dada to our house in Bagong Silang and we had a sleepover. It went on for a couple of minutes then I woke up — or so I thought. When I opened my eyes, the room was almost pitch-black and I can only see a silhouette of the furniture in that room. I closed my eyes again because I wanted to rest some more…

After a few seconds, I felt my whole body turn numb. Then I heard a man’s voice and it was very loud! He was continuously blowing a raspberry (in Tagalog it’s called “belat”) on my left ear and he was also laughing. I was very frightened because I know that Dada was still sleeping and no one else was in the room. I was thinking that it might be a Whisperer or any other type of paranormal entity. My body felt so cold as I continue hearing “the voice”, which was getting louder every second..! but I was too scared to open my eyes. I wanted to cry but no tears would fall. I wanted to pinch Dada’s legs but my hands would not reach him. I couldn’t move… I couldn’t speak… I was completely petrified!!!

I was in total panic but I know I needed Dada’s help. Even though I couldn’t utter words, I mustered all my strength to make a humming sound that was loud enough to catch Dada’s attention. I repeated it several times and it woke him up. I heard him say “Beh, wake up! You’re having a bad dream!” When he hugged me, I knew that I would be okay. I opened my eyes and I immediately hugged him. Yes, I was finally able to move and “the voice” had vanished.

These paranormal experiences are not new to me . I’ve had OBEs ang ghost visits since I was a kid but I never got used to them. I guess, even the bravest of those ghost hunters still fear “the unknown”. As I was writing this, I still felt the chills.

 

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Dada once told me that the mind is a powerful tool so I must think of logical reasons as to why things happen. This will also assist me in facing my fear.

SLEEP PARALYSIS is the most plausible explanation I have researched. Symptoms include numbness or immobility, false awakening and auditory hallucinations — very accurate to the ones I had. SP is caused by a supine position when sleeping, sleep deprivation and stress. BINGO!

I think, the sleeping disorders I have been having since June are finally showing me their effects. I work in a BPO company wherein the schedule frequently changes — every four weeks to be exact. This is a sign that I really need to change my job.

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Second wave of ailments . . .

September 26 … It was the fourth time I experienced serious palpitations. The first three were probably triggered by drinking too much coffee-vanilla. The latest was caused by the argument I had with my boyfriend during Ondoy.

October 2 … I went to Medical City (SM Fairview) to have my heart checked up. The cardiologist suspected a lot of causes (kidney, thyroid, lungs, blood, heart, caffeine intake and anxiety attacks). It was the beginning of a series of  other check ups.

October 11 … I skipped work again because I had a 2D-ECHO scheduled. This was my first time taking that lab test and I almost freaked out when my heart made some weird noises! LoL! I also had a blood sample taken, an X-Ray and ECG.

October 16 … I had rhinitis and I could barely breathe through my nose. This was probably caused by the unpredictable weather conditions. I went to the clinic three times. Despite that, the company nurse refused to send me home early and my supervisor cannot do anything about it. It was one of the most irritating times of my life.

October 17 … I skipped work again and went back to Medical City. By this time, I’ve already recognized the nurses and they too have become familiar with me. The ENT doctor gave me 1 day of bed rest. I met up with Jeiro to lend her my red wig. I was also happy when I told her that I can go to EK the next day!!! I also told Dada about it. He was against it at first but we settled it. I really love him! ♥

October 18 … I woke up and my rhinitis is gone — so was my voice! That didn’t prevent me from going to the Enchanted Kingdom though! Even without a voice, I can still have fun! [link to “OtakonEK 2009”]

October 19 … I skipped work again to meet up with the cardiologist. All tests indicated that I am very healthy – especially my heart. She wanted me to take Pulmonary tests but I cannot afford anymore time on it unless I file a long medical leave. The bills also amounted to P15k (that’s about 315 US dollars) so I am very thankful because we have MediCard (HMO). I just concluded that it might be my anxieties causing everything.

October 21-24 … I was absent the whole week because my voice has not fully recovered. I went back to the ENT and he diagnosed that it’s an acute laryngitis. The Operations Manager then asked for a “Fit-to-work” certificate. I never filed any.

November 7 … My sleeping problems has taken its toll. While I was taking a nap, I experienced “Sleep Paralysis” and it was one of the most terrifying things that happened to me. It wasn’t just because I couldn’t move nor talk during that ordeal, I was also having auditory hallucinations. I was really scared! I am very grateful to my boyfriend because he was the one who woke me up. If he wasn’t there, I might’ve died. [link to “Hypnagogia . . .”]

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Absentmindedness . . .

I have been very stupid lately. I lost three of my precious items due to my absentmindedness and I had to shell out a lot of money from my savings account because of it.

The first thing I lost was my Benetton umbrella, which was a year-old gift from Dada. I left it on the taxi I rode going to work. Next, I lost my eyeglasses, which was my remembrance from Teletech. Recently, I lost my N70  when I was also on my way to work. All these happened in a span of  one month!

I am not sure if my lack of sleep, stress with work and/or personal issues had something to do with it, but this sickness (or stupidity if you may put it) caused me so much trouble already.

I bought a new umbrella, this time from a well-known brand called Fibrella. It's a lot more expensive than Dada's gift so I am very careful with it. I am always anxious to have an umbrella in my luggage, but I'd like to keep one because Dada advised me to.

I also bought new eyeglasses from Ideal Vision. The red frame is from HANG TEN. I found out that my myopia has somehow "healed" as I only have 150 graded lenses on both eyes now, as opposed to the 175-150 I had previously.

I also bought a new cellphone — Sony Ericsson W395. It's a walkman phone, with lesser features than the Nokia  N70 but it has a jack that allows me to use my Sennheisser headset [link] and the sound quality is good. This way, I need not to bring my PSP with me, and that's one less bulk in my luggage.


PS.
I bought a white wallet from Aika (my co-worker). The brand of the wallet is Ney York & Company and it's worth $16.69 !!!

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A(H1N1) ? ? !

Urgh…

June 11 (Thu) … I went to the MegaClinic to have myself checked because I've had sleeping problems for the past week. I sleep in the bus going home from work. In some cases, I faint when taking in calls and/or when eating. The doctor advised me to take sleeping pills and doze off nowhere else but my bed. I took the second advise but I'm too afraid to try out any sort of sleeping pills because of what happened to some Hollywood actors and actresses.

June 19 (Fri) … I've been having a serious cold which hindered me from breathing properly. I have an interview coming up and I don't want this thing getting in the way. My mom suspected that I have the Swine Flu. She told Popay (my sibling, 9yrs) not to come near me since I am sick. I asked Leidi (my sibling, 17yrs) to get my temperature. I got 37°C flat – that's the normal body temperature of humans. I also told Dada (my boyfriend) about this. He and Tita Star (his mom) were hysterical and told me to see the doctor immediately.

June 20 (Sat) … I skipped work and headed to the MegaClinic again. Dada was there with me, like always. He carried my stuff and treated me both lunch and dinner. Anyway, the lady doctor diagnosed "Upper respiratory Tract Infection" … She gave me medicines that amounted to a whopping P2,000!!! I was hesitant to buy the meds because they're expensive but Dada scolded me and told me to follow the doctor's orders.

June 21 (Sun) … My head kept throbbing whenever I move; my body was aching; I couldn't breathe well using my nose; and, my temperature went up to 38.5°C!!! By now, my family's really frantic. Dada was also worried about my condition. "Ang tigas kasi ng ulo!" is what he always tells me when he's angry. I religiously took the prescribed medicines to make myself well. I also covered myself with a blanket and drank a lot of water.

June 22 (Mon) … It's supposed to be my interview with Capital IQ but I'm still sick. I called their HR to reschedule the interview next Monday. I'm so glad they agreed! My cold's gone and so was my fever. Although, my head still hurts when I make sudden moves. I stayed home and told everyone I'll be visiting the doctor again tomorrow.

June 23 (Tue) … I skipped work for the 4th time this month. I've talked to 3 different doctors and a couple of nurses. I've memorized every corner of the MegaClinic. Dada escorted me again and took care of me while we're waiting for my name to be called. The 3rd doctor sent me tot he lab for a blood test. He's also suspecting that I might be positive for A(H1N1). The results were normal, though. He said it might be because of the antibiotics I took so he still put me under observation for another 4 days. For now, he diagnosed me as having "Acute Bronchitis"

July 7 (Tue) … My health is going for another haywire stage. I had LBM attacks last night and today, preventing me to go to work.

I seriously need to find a new job or my money will just be used for paying my medical bills!!!

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Happenings this 2nd Week of September 2008 . . .

Monday

Dada and I were supposed to spend quality time again but he said he was feeling sick so we had to cancel it. I was also thinking that we both needed to rest some more and it's okay to just have a chit-chat via YM. I didn't go to Hester's appointment as well and I just told her that I have a family reunion to attend to.

I was planning on going back to the condo around 6pm but it was raining cats and dogs so I decided to stay home and continue playing Wonderland Online. Too bad, the power went out around 7pm so I just decided to sleep. I woke up around 11:45pm and the power's back. Dada said he just got to the office due to the heavy traffic in the South Super Highway. I slept again around 3am and the rain was still pouring.

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Tuesday

This has got to be one of the busiest days in my life!!!

I got up around 5am to get ready for the OtakonEK press conference. It's no longer raining and I saw that as a good sign. I kept thinking it's gonna be a good day.

After dodging security guards in malls, establishments and in the MRT stations (because I was carrying my katana  and my wakizashi), I reached the Somerset Millennium at exactly 10am. We, the invited cosplayers, were just sitting in the waiting area 'til 11am. I don't know any of them so I didn't bother mingling at first. When I got dressed, they called me "Shakugan no Shana" and I smiled as I told 'em that I am not Shana. A lot of people really mistake me for that character because her get-up is uncannily similar to my portrayal of Wrath.

Around 12pm, we were called to introduce ourselves and the characters we're portraying. It's nerve-racking because we're in front of a different crowd – a room full of executives and non-otaku. Most of them were awed by our costumes so I guess it's okay. There were only 7 cosplayers so the attention we got boosted my ego! I was so happy when they picked me to have photos taken with them. Hehehee~

After the photo-op, the other cosplayers and I had a little chit-chat and they gave me tips on how to make props and where to buy cheap platform boots. They also made me laugh when they mocked and said that most cosplayers use Death Note characters as a starter kit in entering the world of cosplay! Hahaha!

The organizers gave us three Enchanted Kingdom regular day tickets (expiry date is March 2009) each as a gift for attending the event today and this excludes the free passes we'll get on the OtakonEK itself. Aside from that, we might have a photoshoot in EK next week! OMG! It's good to be active in cosplays again!!!

Pics from the conference : [link]

I wasn't able to sleep due to the excitement. I was lying in my bed the whole time, just reminiscing while playing Tales of the World in my PSP.

I got dressed again around 7pm and met up with Dada around 7:45pm to have dinner. I told him what happened in the conference and there were instances where we'd just laugh about something really silly. We had dinner in KFC and, coincidentally, Dan (my college buddy and crush) was there. They finally got the chance to meet each other and I got really nervous! I didn't know how to react at first – surprised and speechless is meeh! Dada knows I had a crush on Dan for so long so I didn't know if he'd begin throwing questions or whatever. Same goes for Dan. Hahah! It was an awkward situation! Anyway, Dan said he just got back from Hong Kong and that he has a gift for me. I told him I'd just get it some other time. When Dan left, Dada told me that Dan stared at him in a manner that made him feel uncomfortable. I told him, "No, he's NOT gay!!!" then he laughed at me!

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Wednesday

Roy paid the PSP repairs and also gave me DVD's containing other games.

I didn't bother staying in the office for the team party with our Operations Manager. I need to edit photos, check my webbies and get MORE SLEEP.

I got home around 9am and I was surprised to see tita cleaning the house. She said mom asked her to stay again and help with the household while she plans on doing business. This will serve as a "revenge" to my dad, they say. Well, I let them do what they want. They're grown-ups and I don't like to argue anymore. Time will come when they need to repent for their wrong-doings anyway.

I was able to sleep a bit, but the excitement kept me awake for the most part of the day. *sigh*


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Thursday

I went back to Fairview the following morning after work to continue my VL. My head was throbbing and I could barely open my eyes. I had to put my hood on so that I won't feel dizzy while walking. Is this migraine? I have no idea. Dada called me a few minutes after I got home and he warned me about the bad weather that's coming tomorrow. I told him I'd be careful. ^__^

I tried getting as much sleep as I can but too much noise and light surrounding me prevented that from happening. My headache became a lot worse.

I only got about two hours of sleep then I was awake for 3-4 hours straight. My bedroom's on the 2nd floor of the house while my PC is in the living room. I think the problem with me when I'm home is that I cannot get away from my computer. OMG! I LOVE MY COMPUTER! It's my "other" bestfriend. I was botting my characters in Wonderland Online while trying to rest so maybe my subconsciousness or whatever you call it worries about if my bots will die so I kept waking up abruptly and checked on their status. I stacked up some pots so they'd go on for hours without dying so I was able to sleep from 8pm-11:45pm. When I woke up, they all gained a level and were able to collect many items. I chatted with Dada and Faye for a while but my headache was so severe that I had to sleep again.

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Friday

I slept around 4am. I woke up around 6:30am, when so much noise began circulating around the household. Dada said he'd go to the hospital because Tita Star's been confined again – maybe due to her high BP. I wonder if Dada will get enough sleep too… I hope he does. He still has work later like I do.

Kuya Azrael's been updating us on the status of the OtakonEK. He said my Wrath costume's been preregistered already. I told him that I need to change the character I will be cosplaying on the event because the guards will simply not allow me to bring my swords inside the Enchanted Kingdom. He said I have until September 25 to change my entry. I am not sure if I will recycle my Irene (B.J.D.) costume or produce another one.

I slept again around 10am until 1pm. I continued botting until I had my main character reach Lvl25. One more level and she can wear the new equips I got for her. I placed the couch in front of my PC and I used it to replace the other chair I was using. This way, I was able to lie down and listen to Yahoo Music while trying to get more sleep. I took a nap from 2pm-3pm. Then I was able to sleep again from 5:30-6:45pm.

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Saturday

After shift, my teammates (Poi, Lara, Aika, Tin) and I went to Heaven 'n Eggs and had breakfast. The food's nice but it's costly. I'd rather eat in Pizza Hut. Anyways, just for experience. Haha! We had some pics taken and we also discussed some issues going on within our team. I've never had this much gossip since I was in training with DELL!

I slept most of the day hoping that my severe headache will stop but it didn't. I think I need more rest after today's shift. I was hoping to get the laundry done but I got too lazy and my head still hurts so bad when I try to move. I got about 8 hours of sleep today but that's not enough to cope with the 4 hectic days I had.

By 10pm, the headache subsided a bit and I can move my head with only minimal pain.

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Sunday

Dada and I watched "Hellboy II : The Golden Army" >>> full description [here]

I got home around 10PM and I saw Lola sleeping on the couch. It turned out that she and my aunts were waiting for me earlier that day and was hoping I'd treat them pizza. Aww too bad, I already ordered Cheezy-Pops™ the other day and I no longer have budget for another pizza party.

After 2 weeks, I got to sleep again in my messy room. I missed Thuggles, my teddy bear! I haven't had time to hug him since I had Xu Ling (yes, that's the name of my Panda stuffed toy).

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