This year has been the most difficult because life had been throwing stones at me. Everyday is like Doom’s Day. I am actually surprised that my sanity is intact despite all these.
People tell me that this is my karma for trolling. I, however, don’t think of it that way. Karma happens in another life. Hey, I’m far from dead!
The way I see it: my Yin-Yang was acting up… or maybe some psychotic paranormal being or a retard with super powers became bored and toyed with me.
It was also when I thought of bells ringing. Attending bridal fairs, reading wedding blogs, talking to potential suppliers, booking the reception venue. Happiness.
However, just a week after booking, I was caught off-guard by life, peril and death.
Stupidity, the cause of those things, was out of my hands.
Everything was postponed.
It was their karma, not mine, but I sure was pissed off.
Hope was still with me. I was waiting for a go-signal on when to proceed.
Alas… Words that I was not expecting to hear came right out. They hurt so much.
What pissed me off even more was that the blame for their stupidities is being placed on my shoulders. I was pretty okay minding my own business.
Advise, they said.
Save, they said.
Prepare, they said.
Nothing. I said.
Disbelief. I said.
Revenge. I said.
Revenge is sweet… very sweet. Although, it quickly lost flavor and I got fed up.
I just drifted —- no longer planning, no longer hoping, no longer moving.
Still, letting go was damn fucking hard to do. Damn fucking hard!!!
It only made me love life even more.
Then, just when I thought that all hope was lost, I suddenly found myself surrounded by good fortune.
The fourth quarter is about to begin.
I am still picking up bits and pieces of my shattered optimism. I have no clue on when it will be mended.
I guess I just have to move along for the time being.