Three Quarters of Doom . . .

This year has been the most difficult because life had been throwing stones at me. Everyday is like Doom’s Day. I am actually surprised that my sanity is intact despite all these.

People tell me that this is my karma for trolling. I, however, don’t think of it that way. Karma happens in another life. Hey, I’m far from dead!

The way I see it: my Yin-Yang was acting up… or maybe some psychotic paranormal being or a retard with super powers became bored and toyed with me.

Who knows?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Regret

“In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.” --- Robert Byrne

Cheating — may it be on exams, dieting, lovelife, career, etc — is always wrong in a number of levels and it has become my main regret. I am just so glad that I was able to stop my cravings before it was too late.

The Levels of Cheating . . .

“In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.” --- Robert Byrne

I admit that I cheated and I have learned from it. I am also thankful that Dada was there to support me despite my weak resolve. He explained to me that the gravity of cheating varies — so does the punishment. I couldn’t describe it more so I just thought of putting our conversation about it. (not the exact words but the gist is the same)

Protected: The Good Omen . . .

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Pain . . .

There are days when everything around us happens as hoped for; and, there are days when everything seems utterly devastated.

Pain will always be there. It’s up to us on how to tip the scales once it occurs. Whether or not we like the outcome, we just need to accept it and move on.

Our time in this world is too short. Let’s not waste it on negativity.

Let’s find a Purpose to continue living. Value life because it’s a blessing.

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This is in response to the 30-days blogging challenge.

Regrets . . .

I never had major regrets although there are instances wherein I ‘ll think of my past decisions or doings as a waste of my time, money or effort.

These are some of the things I did that made me upset …

• I should never have bought a Philips GoGear Spark. I should’ve invested my money for an iPod. My DAP began malfunctioning a few months after I bought it. The fault is irritating but tolerable.
• I should never have trusted headphones other than those from Sennheiser. The Audio-Technica ATH-SJ1 I bought was a waste of money — somewhat. I gave it to my younger sister as a present.
• I should’ve saved up money to buy my own dSLR.
• I should’ve stuck to my diet so my face and tummy will not bloat.
• I should’ve organized or attended at least one photoshoot.
• I should’ve grabbed the collar and kicked the a$$ of that guy who rammed me with his motorbike.

.

Anyway, these’re what’s on top of my head.

The one other thing that I pondered on for a very long time is my otaku side.

What could’ve happened if I am not into animé and computer games? Prolly, I’ll be a beauty pageant freak or a fashionista or someone famous. LoL!

The only thing is, if I wasn’t an otaku, I may never have met my Dada. He’s contributed much to me. I cannot imagine what my life would be like if he’s not even a part of it.

Like what’s engraved on the personalized key-chain I gave him …

“If the things that happened to me never happened … I would never have met you, I would neve have your love and I will never know the true meaning of happiness.”™

.

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This is in response to the 30-days blogging challenge.

幸せ 。 。 。

There are instances when I feel upset while playing pRO. Whenever that happens, I always go to Amatsu.

Amatsu is my favorite map because it resembles Japan and I can find here some of the nicest NPCs and scenery. There’s a large Sakura tree where lovers carve their oaths; a large castle that houses the Miyabi Ningyo; a unique weaponry shop for Ninjas; a bugged teleport spot; and, there’s Grandpa-Jyaburo who is just on the other side of the river.

Jyaburo is my favorite NPC in the entire world of Midgard. He speaks of valuing love, life and happiness. I nearly cry every time I talk to him.

Hatred VS Reluctance . . .

Dada is an expert when it comes to making me do things that I do not want doing. He said that it’s not that I do not want doing those things but rather I am reluctant to do them. Most of them became good experiences whereas some still tick me off.

Here’s a list of the things that he coerced me to do…

• PDA. During our first months together, he dared me to kiss him inside a PUJ that’s jam-packed with people! I was not used to showing mushy stuff in public then this tall figure who was embracing me suddenly asked me to do it as proof that I really love him. Blergh! I was very nervous but I did it anyway. I LOVE HIM! We kissed a couple of times. I like that feeling! Since then, we’ve been frequently kissing and hugging in public without caring about what other people may think. LoL!

• GATA. Any recipe that’s mixed with gata is definitely a no-no for me. I don’t like its color, smell and taste. There was one time wherein Tita Star (Dada’s mom) cooked meat with gata in it. I have no idea what it’s called. Dada took a cup-full, placed it on my plate and asked me to eat it. I had that WTF expression but I don’t want to disappoint him, moreover shun Tita Star’s cooking! I tasted it and it was delicious. Although, that was the one and only time I ate gata… Hopefully never again!

• EARRINGS. I do not like wearing earrings as they are heavy and they bruise my ears. During our first Christmas together, Dada bought me a gold pair. Blergh! He said I look good when I’m wearing earrings. *blush* I’ve been taking good care of those earrings since I had them. I’ve also bought a couple of earrings afterwards.

• UMBRELLA. Umbrellas equate to a heavy luggage so I do not like carrying one. I prefer donning a jacket. Dada gets mad whenever I catch a cold or a fever so he bought me a black umbrella from Benetton. I’ve had it for a year until I accidentally left it inside a cab. Since then, I’ve been buying my own umbrellas from Fibrella. Even though it’s cumbersome, I still keep one in my bag as protection from either the scorching sun or the heavy rain.

• HELLO KITTY. Hello Kitty is one of the clients being catered by Dada’s company. I don’t like Hello Kitty stuff because 1) I am not a cat-person; 2) I DESPISE PINK; and, 3) Hello Kitty reminds me of a former friend. Then, Dada gave me a Sanrio USB flash drive last Christmas of 2009! Blergh! I only use it whenever I direly need it. Other than that, it’s just stashed in my CD rack.

• WRISTWATCH. I have been donning punk and goth accessories since 2007 — all thanks to my cosplay hobby. Unfortunately, Dada hates my punk bracelets. He said it doesn’t suit me (he likes it when I am kikay and he hates it when I feel more maton than he does). So he bought me a slick ladies’ watch from Sophie Martin. He told me to stop wearing punk accessories. I guess it’s okay – except when I am cosplaying.

• WAITING. I am not a patient person. I truly despise waiting yet it frequently happens. Sometimes I am late. Most of the time, he’s late. We’ve had a lot of arguments because of this but it never gets resolved — NEVER! I hate it. The odd part about it is we always forgive each other (then the same dilemma will reoccur sometime after). Blergh!

… will add some more in the future, probably…

Disappointments (defined) . . .

Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ ~o~o~o ஜ۩۞۩ஜ o~o~o~ Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ

Disappointments are part and parcel of life. In this circus of existence, you cannot have your way all the time. Things change; people change. Events and results have an unpredictable and uncontrollable way of happening. To keep yourself from being utterly frustrated and dismayed, here are some things to avoid or at least soften the pangs of great disappointment:

1. Expect the best but be ready for the worst. When you work hard on something, it’s natural to expect the best results. And the most glorious rewards. But sometimes things don’t turn out the way you want them to. To keep from being dreadfully dismayed, expect the best, but at the same time, psyche yourself up for the worst. Then you’ll be ready for any unexpected turn of events!
2. Give it your best shot. Much of the frustration that follows a failure is the big disappointment you feel towards yourself. When you do not try hard enough, you are overcome with guilt and regret. In whatever you are doing, do your best, give it your best shot. Then you’ll know you did all you can and you should be proud for trying.
3. Realize that you cannot own people. We often expect people to act or be a certain way that would be congruous to how we want them to be. Realize that you do not and can not own people. Each person has his own mind and the natural right to free will. Give others the gift of space and freedom. Remember that when you lose someone, whatever you were expecting was not meant to be.
4. Realize that we are just temporary stewards of things. When you lose material things, whether they are stolen from you or gutted down by a fire, minimize your grief by realizing that we are just temporary keepers of what we own. They will finally find their way to where they were destined to be. Besides, when you finally go, you cannot take a single thing with you.
5. Never expect anything back. People get bitterly disappointed when they don’t get back what they give to others. People always expect (some even demand!) repayment. This is a major cause of extreme frustration. When you help someone (especially financially) do not expect anything back. Think of it as a gift of love that’s given freely and completely with no strings attached.
6. Don’t pin your life on one person. You would be doing yourself a great injustice if you pinned your life on one person. No one person should take control, importance or dominance over your existence. People come and go in our lives. If you depend too much on someone, you will feel so shattered, helpless and hopeless if you lose him. Make sure you can stand on your own two feet. And live your own dreams, not other people’s.
7. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. To avoid disappointment from losing anything, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. It’s a good practice to have more than one project happening so that when one fails, you have others to look forward to. Regarding financial investment, it is wise to diversify. The more things you have going, the less the chance of losing it all.
8. Realize that success is a combination of many factors. You do not have full control over the outcome of things. Even with all the necessary preparations and precautions, things may end up differently from how you want them to. There are many factors and variables that determine how something or an event will turn out. And that includes the weather!
9. Realize that you will always get another chance. If you don’t succeed now, there will always be another time. Tell yourself that maybe it just isn’t the right time yet for what you desire. Keep in mind that you will always get another chance to get a crack at it. Never lose hope. Hope springs eternal.
10. Realize that without defeat, victory won’t be as sweet. You have to feel the bitterness of failure to be able to savor the sweetness of success. Failures make you strong and powerful. Use them as a challenge for more determination to go after your dreams next time. Analyze why you failed and learn from your mistakes.
11. Realize that the universe has its own divine plan. Yes indeed, the universe has a divine design. It has its own unchangeable, unique plan which may be very different from yours. You may not understand it at all for now, but it is something you have to force yourself to live with. Going against the current will just frustrate you. Do what the Zen masters preach: Go with the flow!
12. When things turn out awry, it’s not the end of the world. The world will not end just because something did not turn out the way you expected it to. It will keep on turning even if you cried a bathtub of tears in your own little dark corner. So dry your eyes and erase those disappointments. Hey, Friends! flash on a smile! Tomorrow is another day.

This is an email forwarded to me by a colleague . . .

Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ ~o~o~o ஜ۩۞۩ஜ o~o~o~ Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ

Treat ? ? ?

Spice~y ! ! !

Since Ferdi was not able to go the last time he said he'd treat us out and since he still hasn't fulfilled his promise to us, we had another gathering today hoping that he'd make up for it.

I met up with Toni (who just came back from an out-of-town trip) and Clari (who just stopped by SM Megamall to buy an adhesive tape LoL!) in Figaro – SM Megamall after my Saturday shift. We stayed there for about an hour and it was already 8:30PM but Ferdi was still not around. He was giving another excuse to us; he said he had to attend the wake of his boss's grandfather or something … Toni became furious and was scolding him on the phone. LoL! On the other hand, I asked him if he could just go to the wake after dinner and he said he "will check". I then told Clari again "Wag pilitin. Baka dumugo." (Don't force. It may bleed.) … Whether he comes or not, the dinner will push through.

We began moving our heavy butts because it's nearly closing time. I mentioned some of the restaurants I frequently visit and they got excited when I told them about my shabu-shabu experience in Tong Yang. I told them as well that in case Ferdi's budget wasn't enough, we can just pitch in. They said "Ok."

We started cooking our food while waiting for Ferdi — who arrived after another 45 minutes. All of us had fun preparing our food and we enjoyed chit-chatting while eating. Toni's plate mainly contained shrimp, squid and pork. Clari was so hyped up she gathered much of the seafood, vegetables and tofu! LoL! I gobbled up as much crab sticks as I can get and some other meaty products. Ferdi, I think, got the squid, chicken and barbecue.

Fun part is over, it's now time to pay the tab …

We handed over the bill to Ferdi since he promised that he'd treat us out but to our surprise, he said he's only got P200 in his pocket. The bill was a whopping P2,300!!! We agreed on "filling in" but we never thought we'd be shouldering most of it. It was a good thing that I brought my BPI Edge otherwise we'll be washing dishes that night! It was another WTF moment and I almost lost my cool. I asked Toni and Clari to give me their share because I cannot cover it all. I don't have much money left and that's an unexpected cut from my work-allowance next week.

We stopped by Starbucks to grab a drink before we went home.

After this food trip, I don't think I have any more drive to meet up with friends when things are not planned through.

 

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